Perhaps too much. After my zeitgeist rant till 2 in the morning last night (worth a read) I have woken up ill. All is not lost however – Southampton Smog has combined with a beautiful high and I am sitting in my tiny garden in the hazy sunshine. My garden – as I so grandly call it, is in fact more a combination of building site and meadow. We have wild flowers where there should be lawn; bricks and lumps of concrete where there should be flowerbeds. To my right is a reasonably large collection of road signs, to my left, the worst bike I have ever seen. My housemate, Milky T, has a bad record on the matter. At the beginning of the year, in what few would call a stroke of genius, he purchased a bicycle from eBay. It was in Farham and although it wasn’t clear in the photo, this bike was designed for a twelve year old. Hilarious banter ensued, culminating when the left hand pedal just fell off on the way to University.

Perhaps at this point, Milky should have taken stock of the situation. Instead, four months later, when my non-crap bike was knicked from outside my house (locked up with a D lock), He decided to make a similar mistake again. I trawled the free-ads and eBay - I couldn’t afford another one like my first and link an idiot, hadn’t insured it. Lesson in life: Insure what you can’t afford to lose. I found a bloke in Swathling who slightly dogily had about four bikes to sell and we went to see him. On arrival, we were greeted by our new friend and he showed us his neighbour’s old pride and joy; a 1920’s ladies bike (for the larger woman) that allowed cycling even with a ball gown on. Tony immediately fell in love. He had to have her. £20 later and he had yet another bike for which the chain would fall off and the brakes not slow you down. To complement these features was a sprung saddle that immediately gives way and means the rider nearly falls off to one side. Perfect.

That was distracting…back to the garden. When my old TV exploded due to the touch of the legendary R. Boardman we decided that, during our housewarming party, the optimum place for it was the patio behind the house. This was excellent until one of us realized, while heavily intoxicated, it would be much better on the lawn, with the back kicked in. I agreed, and for 3 months, t remained, running a patch directly in the centre of the 8 inch deep meadow.

At the end of our garden, is a 2m by 2m patch of well, crazy paving. Not the kind that you would pay for however, the kind that is produced when you lay bricks haphazardly on some uneven ground for apparently no reason. We have long speculated as to the purpose of this area, you can do anything on it – barbeques fall over, it’s hardly comfy. Perhaps it is for a greenhouse or, just maybe, an Indian burial ground. We can only hope the former.

The sun has now gone in, disappearing behind a massive cloud and there is a bee desperately trying to make a home in my ear. Just found out it is "earth day" from google. Have a good one!